Reader Submission: My Bilge Pump Keeps Breaking

From Dave in Pinedale, WY

Hey American Yachtsman! Super glad y’all are American by the way. My rich, but ugly, girlfriend got me a sailboat because I lied and said I used to be a sailor and Navy veteran decorated with 69 medals, all earned in the co-ed dorms, but the seller scammed her and this darn boat is “taking on water” or something, I say it’s FLOODED. I got a pump thing for it and almost threw my back out pumping water out but it broke! She got me another but this one is electrical and there’s wires and stuff and a battery and it just ain’t workin. I’m trying to do the wires but it doesn’t look anything like my TV wires or even the VCR. I’d love if you guys could help give me some advice. There’s been this weird burning smell.

Thanks,

Dave

Hey Dave, we are troubled to hear of your current predicament, knowing all too well the horrors of a perennially failing bilge pump. One of our own boats once had a similar issue. We would recommend that you commandeer her credit card and hire a marine contractor to deal with this for you, as it sounds like you severely lack the cognitive faculties to execute such a mission.

Do they have water in Wyoming?

Sincerely,

The Editorial Board of American Yachtsman