Taco Bell Mountain Dew Baja Blast Pie: Society in Review
Taco Bell announced their Baja Blast Pie with a digital press article on November 5th, their choice of dating ominously echoing “remember, remember, the 5th of November”, to be released nationwide the day after on the 6th, in-store only. You can’t use the app to snag this Baja Plast Pie, you have to walk inside the walls of the Taco Bell institution to request and receive by hand the Baja Blast Pie, brought forth out of the deep gunpowder storage rooms holding the cases and cases of Baja Blast boxes.
The Fifth of November, the day Parliament exploded, the same day the pie was cast. The employees all wear their royal purple taco uniforms, complicit to be representatives of the bell, the bell tolling for thee? The bell tolling for change, for true political power, held at “the barrel of a gun”? Is policy the Blast of the gun? A surprise of a blast, like a pie to the face?
The Baja Blast Pie has an almost cartoonish appearance, and it’s sizable too, begging to be placed on an open windowsill. Have you ever left any pastry on an open windowsill, to be cooled by the breeze? The breeze we feel now is heavier, more than cooling, it’s a chilling draft, chilling to our speech, chilling to our taste with the oils and particulates flowing through our brains and all through our circulation. The pie has piped cream crowns circling its circumference, bordering the seafoam sugary sea.
Can we even speak about the sea within, without being swallowed up?
The pie actually tastes just like a Baja Blast. Intriguing. Politically intriguing? The halls are blasted open, letting the insurrectionists run in to steal every podium and pen in sight. The factories moan and groan as they’re chased like sick cattle across the killing field. A room of faces pointing fingers through the smoke. The inner Baja Blast pie filling has a viscous texture, and has notes of citrus and graham cracker. Is our society toast too, like the graham cracker note in the filling of the Taco Bell Baja Blast Pie?